by MICHAEL CASS
Regina George: “Shut up!” Cady Heron: “I didn’t say anything.”
I imagine most of us are familiar with the classic first meeting of Regina and Cady in Mean Girls.
Cady’s literal response to Regina’s “teenspeak” is hilarious to all, and yet we don’t notice our own equally nonsensical verbal lexicon. I’d like to note my favorite of the past five-or-so years:
Almost every student I’ve ever had: “Wait!”
Me: “I wasn’t going anywhere.”
When did “wait” become the required first word of every sentence spoken by teenagers?
To be fair, there are times “wait” makes perfect sense in the classroom. If the teacher is moving on to a new topic, “Wait!” can be a useful tool when asking for help or clarification.
The use I’m talking about, however, has nothing to do with actual waiting.
It’s simply an exclamation to start a spoken sentence. I emphasize “spoken” because no one would type that to start a sentence in an email or essay … though one of my advisees admitted to having such an addiction to “wait!” that she uses it occasionally when texting, too. Shut up!
I do want to point out, though, that I am not going to cast the first stone since I have my own “Wait!” … and it is “Dude!”
I use “Dude!” as a noun, proper noun, adjective, adverb, verb, exclamation, celebration, commiseration, greeting, parting and probably even a definite article every now and then.
I say it so much that my best man pointed it out in his toast at my wedding.
I knew I had gotten to the point of no return when I used it with my mom sometime in my teens.
“How was your day, Michael?” “Dude, you won’t believe what happened in class.” Silence for a moment as my mom and I realized our relationship would never be the same. Shut up!
If you grew up in the 1970s and ‘80s in Southern California like I did, you probably said “like” in just about every sentence.
I still use it far too often as an adult, but I’m really amazed it’s still very common with today’s students.
It’s fascinating how that word is still used regularly as a verb, conjunction and filler word.
So, like, what’s the point? Dude, maybe the only point is we
all have our spoken rhythms, and it’s, like, cool if they’re not Shakespearean or even proper English.
Wait, Shakespeare even made up a lot of what he wrote, so perhaps we’re just standing on the shoulders of dudes, uh, giants, when we talk like we do.
Wait, research actually shows literacy in any form (formal, slang, written, spoken, anything) enhances literacy in all areas. Shut up!
Being able to communicate in many forms is a powerful, necessary tool as we grow and become a part of greater communities.
So I guess my point is, like, “Wait, like, keep it up, dude!”
The Mainsheet 