by SCOTT JOINER
A recent groundbreaking study from the Institute of Biobehavioral Studies at Belgium’s Sprawt University in Brussels reveals that repeated exposure to music and poetry significantly diminishes quality of life. According to the study, creating intricate arrangements of sounds or words that lack tangible meaning leads to increased confusion and deception, including self-deception.
Participants in the study were divided into groups and exposed to music, poetry, or both. In contrast to a control group subjected to non-rhythmic banging of pots and pans and the monotonous recitation of the “National Guidelines for Safe Access to Electrical and Mechanical Apparatus” manual, those exposed to music and poetry showed a notable increase in delusional thinking. This included fantasizing about alternative lives, romanticizing past relationships and adversities, and employing elaborate poetic language to obscure a lack of substantive knowledge.
Study director Hendrickx De Groote expressed concern, stating, “What’s worse is that honest people are literally having their time stolen by purveyors of meaninglessness.” Past research had indicated that music elevates mood and boosts dopamine production in the brain, but researchers now dismiss these benefits as the “Santa Claus Effect.” Similar to the myth of Santa Claus, which initially brings joy but later causes disappointment and stress when children discover the truth, music and poetry are thought to offer only temporary pleasure followed by a sense of betrayal.
The study highlights that music and poetry mislead individuals about the purpose of life, which, according to the Institute, should be focused on earning a living. Among the most troubling findings was that many participants reported staying up late for concerts, leading to sleep deprivation—a form of torture. Others noted spending money on music streaming services and concert tickets instead of on essential needs like healthy food and gym memberships, even in times of financial strain. Poetry, in contrast, appears to have less financial impact, as only 0.001% of the global population has ever bought a poetry book.
In response to these findings, a new watchdog group established at the Institute will monitor instances where meaningless words are paired with meaningless sounds. Dr. Nuytten Ingelmunster, Institute Co-Director, cited examples of problematic lyrics, such as Bernie Taupin’s lines for Elton John: “If love was just a circus, you’d be a clown by now,” and “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no.” Ingelmunster questioned the meaning of these lyrics and emphasized the potential psychological toll.
The American Society of Scrupulous Mothers Against the Laziness of Musicians and Poets (ASS-MALMP) celebrated the study’s findings on X, asserting that musicians and poets deceive the public into believing in the benefits of their art to justify their nonproductive lifestyles. Ingelmunster added a precautionary note: “Wear earplugs whenever possible. If you don’t have access to earplugs, just put your fingers in your ears to protect yourself.”
Scott Joiner is the Director of Vocal Music at Chadwick.
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